Friday, July 15, 2016

Talking to a Non-Reader About Reading



Talking to a non-reader about reading is like--- well it's pretty much like this to me






Why??  Well, I'm glad you asked.

The thing is.  It's almost ALWAYS better in theory.  In theory a non-reader would approach me and ask me what I'm reading.  I, in turn, would show them the glorious cover, gush about the book and the characters and all the things.  Then we would get into a convo about YA in general or books that person had thought of reading, or they would ask for recs.  Something like that.

That RARELY happens.

What normally happens is--

Person: "Whatcha reading?"
Me, trying not to cringe because I'm kind of suspicious about why they are asking: It's called ________.  It's SO good, I bascially feel like I'm going to melt into a pile of feelings right here in the break room because this one character just---
Person, looking mildly horrified: Oh, cool.  You know, I don't know how you find time to read all those books....
Me:  blink, blink
Person: I mean, wow, you're like always reading.  Don't you get bored?
Me: Well, you know, my break is almost over, I better go hit the bathroom.  See you around.

Or this--

Person: "Whatcha reading?"
Me, inwardly cringing because I know how this goes: It's called ________.  It's SO good, I bascially feel like I'm going to melt into a pile of feelings right here in the break room because this one character just---
Person: What did you think about 50 Shades of Grey?  You read that right?
Me: Actually, I haven't.
Person: But you're always reading.
Me: Yes, but--
Person, already on to another subject: Did you see that new ice cream place they put in down the street?

WHY, WHY, WHY must non-readers act like reading is such a waste of time??  I'm not a fisherman, but I don't go around scoffing at people when I see them fishing at lakes and rivers.  I would never think that just because they are out fishing that they must be a loser with nothing at all better to do.  Actually, I would love for a fisherman to tell me about the biggest fish he/she ever caught, or some funny story about a fish almost pulling him/her into the water.  Or they could just tell me about the most beautiful places they'd ever went fishing at.  Same with most hobbies-- I'd love to hear about your hobby and hear what the benefits would be about trying said hobby.

I don't read because I'm a boring person.  I have plenty of other things I could do... I have friends, I like Netflix, I like computers, I like gardening, I like make-up.  I have a CHILD to take care of.  And dogs.  My life is just as busy as yours, but I have a hobby just like you probably have some type of hobby.  Even if that hobby is just watching TV.  And reading is NOT BORING!!!  Maybe to you it is, but to me it's exciting, thrilling, emotional, and so insanely satisfying.

Of course this isn't how all non-readers are, just some.  I do my best to hold in the rage when someone who knows I'm reader gives me that smirk and says "So, how's the reading going?".  I SO wish I had the perfect comeback that was bitchy in a backhanded way, but I can never come up with one fast enough.



If YOU are a Non-Reader: Let's be friends and respect each other's hobbies.  And please don't ask me what I'm reading unless you really want to hear about what I'm reading :)


What are your experiences with Non-Readers??  Do you ever find the need to defend books and reading as a hobby/obsession?


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30 comments:

  1. "I don't read because i'm a boring person." THANK YOU! that is literally the most annoying assumption people make about readers, and i think it's extremely offensive when people make comments regarding my social life just because i'm a reader. I am actually an EXTREMELY out going person and i love spending time out with my family and friends. Another comment I always take offensively but should probably stop letting it get to me, is what you said about people saying "i don't know how you find all this time to read." I feel like when people say this they are almost belittling me. Like, we make time for the things we love and if reading isn't one of them for you, then that is your prerogative.
    This is such a great post! Thanks so much for sharing!
    and yes, I always feel the need to defend books till the end!
    Emily @ www.rabbitholereviews.com

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    1. Everything you just said-- YES!! I hate when people act like they could never find the "time" to read as many books as I do. Ummmm?? Didn't you just binge 99 seasons of Gossip Girl last week??

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  2. Great post! I find that most people I know who don't read a lot, wish they had time to do it. To me it's all about priorities. You make time for the things you really want to do. We all have a lot going on in our lives, I just use the spare time for reading (even if it's 5 minutes here and there) instead of watching TV or surfing the Internet.

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    1. I'm so glad you know people who appreciate your hobby. I hate when some people act like they are so busy... ummm weren't you just playing on your phone for the last 4 hours??

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  3. SO MUCH YES. I read because I would rather be reading than doing other things- but I still do other things sometimes too!

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    1. I do other things also!! That's what people don't get!

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  4. This is a great post. I honestly just stop talking about reading. I think that is why I blog now. I love reading and I find it something I can do when watching my kids and being in the house. Or I can listen to books when cleaning and cooking. But yeah talking to non-readers can be hard!

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    1. That is so true. I don't talk to people about books as much since I started blogging. Before I used to be BURSTING to tell people about certain books, but now I have you guys :)

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  5. OMG, THIS! Even my hubby can be guilty of this sometimes, but to be fair, he listens to me ramble on an on about books, so I get why he's not always interested. It's the same when he starts talking about hunting, lol. But it can go the other way, too. My BIL saw the cover of the book I was reading the other day and said it looked interesting and asked what it was about, and when I told him, he actually kept the conversation going. And he's NOT a reader in any way, shape or form, so it was kind of cool to get that reaction instead of the immediate topic change you described and which I am also very familiar with. :)

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    1. To be fair my husband literally talks to me about paint drying (he does auto body work on the side as a hobby) and sometimes I do want to tear my eyeball out... but the difference is I don't ASK him to tell me about it. It really irks me when I'm minding my own business and someone goes out of their way to ask me about reading just so they can make some smart-ass comment.

      But YAY for your BIL!!! He sounds like he has some potential to coming over to the dark side :)

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  6. I enjoyed reading your point of view about dealing with non-readers. I hate it when I'm accused of reading too much and that I need to find a new hobby. Umm, like I have other hobbies like knitting and geocaching to name a couple of other hobbies I enjoy doing... I don't understand why some non-readers discount reading and act like reading more than a book a month it means I have no life other than reading.

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    1. Right??? I do have other hobbies also!! Like gardening, playing and obsessing over my dogs (that counts right??), playing video games w/ my son, shopping!! I do other things!

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  7. This is the truest thing EVER. People always ask me, like I guess they think that is just what I talk about, Idk, but then when I tell them they're like "I don't know that book" and then stare at me, and I don't know what to say to that. Like... sorry? Not sure what the response is! And I am with you, I wouldn't ever think someone else's interests are less important than mine, so I would hope that others would grant me the same courtesy!

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    1. EXACTLY!! It's just super awkward to talk to non-readers about books because I don't think they really want to hear about the book, but they ask anyway and I get really confused how to respond. I usually just try to tell them about books that are being made into movies. That at least seems to get them out of the book fog they go into when I tell them about a book they asked about.

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  8. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! This kind of thing irritates me. I hate when people brush off anything I say about reading, but it's okay when they go on and on about sports or whatever. What irks me the most though is IRL friends who tune out as soon as I mention my blog, even reader friends so yeah... :/ I definitely think overall it's just rude when you get the brush off about whatever subject.

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    1. OMG I could write an entire other post about the way people act about my blog. They think I'm super lame I can tell!!

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  9. THE STRUGGLE YESSS. Or if they ask what book you're reading and you show the cover, then give a brief summary and they're like just like: "oh" and they turn away, careless. Like, it's cool. You made me explain all that for nada. My sister is a non reader, though she did buy my bookshelf so I love her, haha, and my mom is always placing things on my books like my Kindle and other junkets. One time I showed her a book, and after looking at it, she threw it. Literally tossed it aside, on her bed, but like??? Book abuse omg.

    Reading doesn't make you boring!! No way. It teaches us things. Books are beneficial. People are lame gah. I watch Netflix, reality TV, take care of my noisy parakeet, Forever 21 shopping trips. Love this post!

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    1. OMG book abuse!!! hahaha, well she is your mom so I guess you should let that slide :) But GAHHHH it makes me so mad when people think I do nothing else.... but honestly I kind of wish I did nothing else LOL.

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  10. I just tend to not bring it up with most people, so they don't bring it up either because they just aren't interested, and that's fine. I do have one person who asks me what I'm reading or what I've read lately every time we talk, but he's like family to me and actually does want to hear about it since he knows how how much *I* love reading even though he doesn't like it himself.

    I do hesitate to admit to people just how much I read though because I feel like they probably would think it was crazy and start making assumptions about me and my life if they knew I read 100+ books a year. I mean, to most people, 5 books a year is a lot. But it is weird that reading gets such a bad rap.

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    1. It is SO weird how people act about reading!! I don't know why they find it weird to read because it's totally NOT weird to read!! It's actually more weird to be glued to phones and internet all day than it is to read!

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  11. I HATE when non-readers ask me what a book is about. I'm always like 'it's about..stuff...and people' haha.
    Some are really curious but there are some that are super judgy about it, especially when they find out I read YA (aka KIDS books, according to them).

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    1. Right??? I honestly just wish people wouldn't ask. It makes me uncomfortable because I know they aren't going to "get" me reading YA as an adult. The whole thing is usually just awkward. I am going to use that line "It's about stuff... and people." LOVE IT!!

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  12. Ha, I actually outgrow the "whatcha reading" phase. Now, whenever I am being asked the darned question I'd just shrug and say "novel, as usual".

    I married a non reader. My husband only finish one book, and I am 100% sure he did that just to make me happy. 8 years we've been married, and I never see him with a book eversince.

    I don't care though. We all have hobbies. I bet my non readers friends think I have nothing better to do, and on the other hand I pity them because they don't know what they're missing. That makes it even :p

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    1. My husband is a nonreader too.... it makes me sad, but he has a lot of interests, so it's cool. And you are so right!! People who don't read don't even know what they're missing!!

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  13. Hi Michelle,
    I met you on Briana's site. You said you appreciated blogging tips, so I came over. I also blog about blogging tips and greatly appreciated the validation Briana gave to all bloggers like Briana and me who offer blogging tips in order to help people with their blogs. Maybe you can check out my blogging tips site since you said you appreciate the tips. Here is the link to my About page, so you can read more about me. http://mostlyblogging.com/about/.
    In response to what you wrote, I am a licensed English and history teacher. My middle daughter doesn't appreciate the value of reading although we had many happy memories when I read to her as a child. Both as a parent and teacher, I find people's disinterest in reading frustrating and inexplicable. From what I read in your post, you do too.
    Janice

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    1. Sure thing!! I love blogging tips! Also-- some of the best memories I'm making with my kid is when we read together at night. And he's turning into a total bookworm and I LOVE it!!

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  14. I can completely relate to that. I think I had acquired some kind of radar around people who are going to come out with that attitude. So I just try to speak as little as I can about my reading passion to them. Luckily I know non-readers that can respect and understand that I am passionate about reading; and I even convinced some others to read a bit more :) That's quite gratifying too (not easy, I know).


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  15. How funny - I somehow don't have this happen, but it seems to be a common response, so I think I must just ignore people's less-than-thrilled reactions. I guess it can't bother me if I ignore it, right? LOL! I can't understand why someone would think that reading is boring. How is it any more boring than watching TV or something like that? I DO get people seeming skeptical about how I have TIME to read, but you're right that it's all about priorities - I used to watch a lot of TV. Now I read instead. (I also often choose reading over sleep, but we won't mention that!)

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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  16. Hello there,

    I totally agree with you. Most of the time, my non-reader friends just stare at me and ask: how can you watch so many letters and sentences through pages? My answere:Really? They aren't "just sentences", dude.It is an amazing story.
    It is a shocking situacion all the time. Why can't they try to read a book once?

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  17. Hahahaha. My copy/paste non-reader conversation:

    Them: Whatcha reading?
    Me: ____
    Them: Oh. Is it good?
    Me: Yes. *goes back to reading*
    Them: What's it about?
    Me: (the cover has a dragon on it, so I think it's about dragons) It's about a dragon trying to take over the world, but keeps getting distracted because someone keeps sneaking in an stealing something random from its hoard. And this character is awesome because ...
    Them: Oh, ok. Cool. A dragon.

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